I’ve said things I regret saying. I’m not talking about ancient history. This is something that happened just yesterday. And, to someone to whom I profess love – my husband.
Do you know that feeling of wishing you could take back your words? The best thing you can do is to redeem the situation is say sorry, but the problem is the words have been said. They’ve disturbed the person’s aura. They’ve created a negative vortex; even when it’s just a small one, there will be ripples going out.
It would seem the only answer to this dilemma is to find ways of limiting reactivity. To my mind, yoga should be the answer, and not just the action of getting trikonasana perfectly executed. We need meditation practice that fosters a peaceful mind.
Bernard Bouanchaud says in The Essence of Yoga:
“When we receive a piece of information, we usually speculate – an action steeped in affectivity.”
However the meditative mind “receives information without being shaped by anything exterior, and action is independent of a person’s erroneous leanings…. Action based on self-interest vanishes.”
T.K.V. Desikachar* gives some encouragement, saying that “such developments are possible only in stages.”
Probably at my stage, a little less physical, a little more meditation, and hopefully a lot more reflection before speaking is in order.

Bahirakalpita vrttirmahavideha tatah prakasavaranaksayah

By examining these phenomena and developing conditions when the mind does not confuse perception there arises an extraordinary faculty with which one can probe other minds. In addition the clouds that obscure correct perception are minimised.*
*Patanjali’s Yogasutras, translation and commentary by T.K.V. Desikachar.