Loving Yourself


Last week I took on a big job. It involved coordinating a team of 15 volunteers for a weekend workshop.
I’m slightly embarrassed to admit it, but I like to duck responsibility. So, being team captain was not my first choice.
Why don’t I like to take on responsibility? Mainly because I’m afraid I won’t do a good job, and also, maybe people won’t like me for whatever reason – bossiness, lack of leadership, stepping on toes, that sort of thing.
I decided to feel my fears and accept the position. I’ve learned over the years that when I hang out in resisting a challenge, I miss a chance to grow. And, resistance creates persistence; the problem doesn’t usually go away by itself.
How did I go? Well, I had my share of self-doubts arise through the weekend, the citta vrtti of a mildly paranoid mind. I did in fact end up unintentionally stepping on some toes, and that opened up an opportunity to practice some good communication skills. I’ve found that apologies go a long way to healing sore toes. Saying sorry gave me a chance to express humility – good yoga practice, for sure.
My overall report card for the weekend was excellent. I gave a lot, but I received more, both in terms of being appreciated and seen for being leaderful. The real rewards came from seeing the participants in the workshop get what they came for and, in the main, much more.

Heyaim duhkam anagatam

The pains which are yet to come can be and are to be avoided.*
*Light on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, B.K.S. Iyengar