Yoga teachers are not very good at making boundaries regarding their role of teacher and/or friend. Especially when students show up as charming as Peter Nixon. He hadn’t been coming to class for very long before he asked if I’d like to have dinner with him afterwards. I couldn’t tell you what we talked about at that first getting-to-know-each-other. He was so easy to be with, interesting, a good listener and witty.
That was the beginning of a thirty-five year friendship and, for most of that time, I was his yoga teacher. I cherished his loyalty.
Until this last year or so when he was diagnosed with glioblastoma. I had no knowledge of this deadly brain tumor, but soon found out that it is a death sentence.
I was just one of many friends who hoped Peter would beat the odds, even as I learned how rarely this disease allows that. He endured surgery, radiation, chemotherapy — everything modern medicine had to offer — and still, most people given this diagnosis have only 12 to 18 months, with only a small fraction surviving past five years.
He accepted his sentence with unimaginable grace. In a way, his resilience was a call to us. To measure up to his quiet courage in facing his fate.
In yoga philosophy, the word for wanting to survive, that instinctive clinging to life and fear of death that we humans express, is called abhinivesha in Sanskrit. It is considered to be a fundamental cause of suffering. Somehow, Peter garnered the qualities over his lifetime that allowed him to live in the moment, feel complete in his relationships and, in the most dignified way, accept his sentence.
I treasure the times we had together and the privilege of his friendship. There will be less laughter, warmth and joy in the world without Peter’s physical presence, but he’s bequeathed me countless stories and memories.
And as well as that, our gardens. Today I walked around and identified the contributions Peter made to the beautiful environment we live in.
He helped us develop our gardens from scratch, even doing some of the hard physical work himself.
Here’s a sampling of Peter’s mature plantings, some of which he called, in his inimitable style, ‘plant porn’.
Peter visited us on Mitchells Island many times and I think we inspired him and helped him to cut the ties to his tiny Sydney city dwelling. As a landscape designer he was a consummate artist as evidenced by his ‘Sea-Changer’ gardens and home at Forrester Beach.
My words will never be able to sum up this lovely man or describe the heart-ache of him not being on the planet anymore. But among his many gifts to me, I do have his inspiration for a life well-lived and a dignified and peaceful death.
Once again you have touched my heart. Thank you for continuing to share your reflections on life, what’s meaningful and the view through your gracious yoga eyes.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story Eve.
It’s lovely think that this gentle yogi will live on in the gardens he created.
All the best to you Peter for your onward journey.
What a lovely account of him and your beautiful friendship. How fortunate are we all at Scotts Rd that he and you shared it with us. Our garden is a living memento of him, his visits and many wonderful Peter-dinners. What delight that he is still very present to us in these ways.
That’s such a lovely tribute Eve- very moving and wise. Thankyou. I always appreciate you as my first Iyengar yoga teacher and the time we spent together in the East West Centre days and in your various yoga studios after that🙏💕xxx jeni
Such a beautiful tribute to a beautiful person. I feel I barely knew him but what I did know I found funny and fascinating – and really good company. I wish I had known him better. Thank you Eve
Dearest Eve,
34 years ago I accompanied my sister to the end of her life. You were my yoga teacher at Sidetrack and I was absent for the months that I was with her. You and I didn’t know one another very well, and yet you sourced the address where I was staying in Melbourne. You sent me the most beautiful card when Patricia departed with these words:
“May love flow like a river to your door”.
I can’t express how moved I was to receive that card, to read those words, and receive such loving kindness, at a time when I felt utterly broken.
I have never forgotten those words and pass them forward each time I sense another in need of comfort.
And in doing so I think of you Eve, and send that love back to you.
So today, especially, I hold you in my heart and ask that love may flow, like a river to your door. 🙏🏻🪷💞
He sounds a very special man and friend and one whose absence will be felt strongly but his presence remembered fondly forever.
Thoughts are with you dear Eve and all who loved him as you process this loss x
Eve, you beautifully captured the essence of the man, and the gorgeous gardens he created and inspired. Add maybe the delicious dinners he could cook! Adios, Peter.
I do think about Peter when I’m making dinner, chopping vegetables. I would be the mere sous-chef to him and he was very very exacting. But also very uninhibited about the amount of butter and cheese and sugar he used…
Sending love Eve xx <3
Thank for being in touch, Brendan.
xx
Love to you dear Eve. How beautiful to have known and learned and worked with such an inspiring man! xx
It’s true, Susan, about Peter being inspiring. Yoga brought Peter and me together, and then friendship kept us together.
xx
Once again you have touched my heart. Thank you for continuing to share your reflections on life, what’s meaningful and the view through your gracious yoga eyes.
You are kind. Thank you.
Eve
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story Eve.
It’s lovely think that this gentle yogi will live on in the gardens he created.
All the best to you Peter for your onward journey.
Thank you, Therese.
What a lovely account of him and your beautiful friendship. How fortunate are we all at Scotts Rd that he and you shared it with us. Our garden is a living memento of him, his visits and many wonderful Peter-dinners. What delight that he is still very present to us in these ways.
It has had me think about what my own legacy is, Judy. I’m fortunate that I have this time to still keep creating it. xx
That’s such a lovely tribute Eve- very moving and wise. Thankyou. I always appreciate you as my first Iyengar yoga teacher and the time we spent together in the East West Centre days and in your various yoga studios after that🙏💕xxx jeni
How lovely to hear from you, Jeni. Of course, I remember you fondly. I hope yoga is still making a contribution to your life!
xx Eve
Such a beautiful tribute to a beautiful person. I feel I barely knew him but what I did know I found funny and fascinating – and really good company. I wish I had known him better. Thank you Eve
It’s a message, isn’t it, Carol. Even though we’re retired, to make time for knowing people…
I value the times we’ve spent with you and Martin.
xx
Oh Eve so beautifully written and so much our dear Peter you’ve captured him so beautifully
🙏💗
Thank you, kind friend.
xx Eve
Dearest Eve,
34 years ago I accompanied my sister to the end of her life. You were my yoga teacher at Sidetrack and I was absent for the months that I was with her. You and I didn’t know one another very well, and yet you sourced the address where I was staying in Melbourne. You sent me the most beautiful card when Patricia departed with these words:
“May love flow like a river to your door”.
I can’t express how moved I was to receive that card, to read those words, and receive such loving kindness, at a time when I felt utterly broken.
I have never forgotten those words and pass them forward each time I sense another in need of comfort.
And in doing so I think of you Eve, and send that love back to you.
So today, especially, I hold you in my heart and ask that love may flow, like a river to your door. 🙏🏻🪷💞
He sounds a very special man and friend and one whose absence will be felt strongly but his presence remembered fondly forever.
Thoughts are with you dear Eve and all who loved him as you process this loss x
Thanks, Karen, being in your thoughts means a lot. xx
Eve, you beautifully captured the essence of the man, and the gorgeous gardens he created and inspired. Add maybe the delicious dinners he could cook! Adios, Peter.
I do think about Peter when I’m making dinner, chopping vegetables. I would be the mere sous-chef to him and he was very very exacting. But also very uninhibited about the amount of butter and cheese and sugar he used…