Today is my husband and my nineteenth marriage anniversary. (The above photo accompanied our wedding invitations. We both had more hair then.)
Last year we forgot all about celebrating until the day before. Daniel saved the occasion by arranging a seaplane trip to Noah’s restaurant on the northern beaches. A profligate save, but an unforgettable one!
This year, while not overlooking the event, we thought and thought about what to do, and came up with the idea of going out to a local restaurant later this week.
Obviously it’s become not such a big deal now that we have longevity in our relationship. Every year, though, we have renewed our 11 marriage promises to each other. Here’s a sample:
I promise to create our marriage as beautiful, loving and joyful day by day.
‘Beautiful, loving, and joyful’ is not that easy to do, as you veterans of long marriages would know, because you will fall into taking-for-granted conduct. You think you really know your partner; and over the years, you develop a sort of behaviour of emotional shorthand, that is, unless there’s an effort to keep diving more deeply into relationship. The question is: are you willing to keep getting to know newly the person walking this committed path with you?
Do we ever know people or even ourselves? I can honestly say I don’t know Daniel completely and, at the same time, I love him more than ever.
Taduparagapeksitvac cittasya vastu jnatajnatam
An object is known or unknown dependent on whether or not the mind gets coloured by it.*
*The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, translation and commentary by Sri Smami Satchidananda.