I like to be the centre of attraction. Over the years, because I didn’t feel accomplished enough myself, I attached myself to several charismatic men so that I would get their reflected glory.
This vicarious way of living was never really satisfying and I never felt authentic, but I met some interesting people, had some fascinating adventures and collected some good stories.
I think it’s still the case that women are often attracted to strong, confident male yoga teachers, as I was. Is that a bad thing? I don’t know. It’s just interesting that there are so many more women yoga practitioners and teachers, but that men are the ones who are in positions of leadership and who draw large numbers of women to their classes.
Now, I paddle along in the backwater of Mitchells Island in the Yoga Shed and am much happier and fulfilled. I don’t have any yoga teacher at this time, man or woman, just my own experience to draw on and the daily stimulation of Patanjali. For the time being that is enough and I am enough and that seems like a lot.
Sthanyupanimantrane sangasmayakaranam punaranistaprasangat
Even when the exalted beckon, one must avoid attachment and pride, or suffering will recur.*
*The Yoga Sutra of Patanjali, translation and commentary by Chip Hartranft.