… except when they do.

namastay

Lurgy Time*

I’ve been suffering from a nasty cold/cough for three weeks now. Finally and at last, I’m on antibiotics, and I’m quietly hopeful.

I’ve been up and down. I thought I was getting better and then crash-kaboom! That has been discouraging.

The worst thing about this period of time is how my world has shrunk.

Well, apart from teaching in Byron Bay, managing our household, teaching a one-day workshop on International Yoga Day, leading my regular classes, doing my everyday practices, shopping for food and cooking….

I did stop having beach walks, doing free weights, choir singing, having sex, going to luncheons with girlfriends…. Gee, all the fun things! Today, I feel marginally better, but I’ve thought that before over these miserable three weeks.

But I think I’ve learned something about physical illness.

It gets you way down after a time, even though three weeks isn’t that long. I felt like I was barely able to hold things together at different junctures, especially with the teaching. How do people with chronic illness get along? Some manage to go on engaging with life every single day, sometimes even cheerfully. Hats off!

Oh, there is another source of misery in my spin on being sick. I don’t like asking for help and support. There’s a characteristic resistance. Practicing being receptive is by itself a spiritual practice. People in my circle have been so supportive and loving that I’ve opened up as much as my Small Self has allowed me. 

Swings and Roundabouts

I give so much, like many yoga teachers. To balance the equation I could spend the next 30 years receiving, letting love in, maybe even as much as I give out. That would be an amazing practice.

I hope I’ve learned a little more about surrendering through this recent illness. 

I’m also hoping these little white pills do their medical magic.

*Click here for an explanation of lurgi, the fictitious disease (but in my case real) invented by the scriptwriters of The Goon Show.