I’ve been hesitant to post tonight because I’m feeling sad and reflective. It’s much easier for me to communicate cheery thoughts and inspiring information than reveal a melancholy heart. I guess that’s true for most of us. This morning we received a phone call from our neighbour saying that her husband passed away just five days ago. We were meant to have drinks with them on Christmas Day, but she had cancelled the day before without any excuse. As she was cancelling our visit, I heard in her voice that she was upset but then I got busy and didn’t think to check in again. I regret I didn’t follow my intuition. This couple were the people we got to know best when we moved to the country two years ago. Making friends is so important when you’re starting a new life. Paul was warm, intelligent, funny and liked being sociable.  He was diagnosed with lung cancer at the beginning of December and by the end of the month he was gone. Paul was also unsentimental and kind, and didn’t want a funeral or service. I think he didn’t want people to feel sad. It seems so strange to just have a person disappear off the planet so suddenly. We humans think we’re always going to be here and just go about our daily activities, telling ourselves it’s enough to have thought of someone, rather than picking up the phone or paying a visit. I can’t imagine the suffering of loved ones left behind: appointments needing to be cancelled, laundry baskets full of articles of clothing, long-established routines broken. Worst of all, cutting the intertwined threads of two lives woven together over many years, and then not having a familiar place for the outpouring of one’s love. I have a goal this year of being in contact with close friends and letting them know they are important in my life. I think that would be a fitting memorial to Paul.